How Children Are Affected by Parental Requirements 4 minutes Demanding parents have one thing in mind: they want their children to be the best. But what happens when you push your kids too hard?
Parents want the best for their children. However, problems can arise with overly demanding parents. They do not understand that their children perceive their desires as demands, which leads to a different result than they planned. However, this does not justify their behavior.
Many demanding parents had their own parents who were also overly demanding. Nothing seemed to be enough, and it wasn’t just about getting good grades in school. If they played a sport they weren’t good at, there was always a “but” or “you could have done better.”
As they grow up, discerning parents may think this is the right way to go with their kids. But this parenting style can have bad consequences.
Children are always trying to demand parents meet their expectations When they think that nothing they do will be enough, children begin to feel guilty. Unfortunately, children often begin to demand too much of themselves beyond their abilities or the resources they have. both stress and anxiety.
According to the ANAR Foundation, a foundation for children and adolescents at risk, this refers to: “Certain structure in their personality (high demands on themselves, need for control, striving for excellence …) can lead to eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. “
If the child’s parents say:“ It would be nice if you could get or a four in math, “and then when the child gets that grade, they say,” We knew you could do this. Now try to get a four ”- this complicates the child’s task. He begins to believe that his parents will never be completely proud or happy. The requirements may not seem too heavy at first, but when the child ends up getting an A and the parents ask for an A, sooner or later it can lead to the child breaking down.
Parents want their children to do well in school, but this can turn into a vicious circle where parents are never proud of the present, but just focus on the next big step. This is a challenging environment that can lead to the previously mentioned disorders: anorexia and bulimia. However, this is not the only way children can respond to demanding parents.
Parents who are not satisfied with any result
Children with demanding parents can break down under pressure. According to Dr. Amy Bobrow, clinical psychologist and professor, “Make sure you talk to your child and talk about when you are proud of a good job. This is important to balance. Otherwise it will be “Why are you always nagging me, you always stand and look over my shoulder.”
Because they don’t do enough, children can start developing various relationship problems. All personalities are different, but apart from the violations we mentioned above, there are some warning signs that tell you when something is not working:
- A passive attitude that makes them feel like they don’t care. They feel sad, unmotivated and bow their heads. On the inside, they feel like failures. This can lead to depression.
- Rebel actions aimed at irritating parents or vandalizing. They want attention.
There are many ways to behave. But children will not be able to focus if they are always looking for recognition and trying to live up to their parents’ expectations.
Sooner or later they will get depressed or start acting against the will of their parents out of frustration. The problem is, both reactions have bad consequences.
Relatively often, this leads to children avoiding higher education or stopping the sport they once loved. They just can’t stand it. Too much pressure. This is why, even if demanding parents want only the best for their children, in many cases the opposite will result.
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