How to break the habit of feeling offended 4 minutes Have you ever reacted disproportionately to someone else’s words or actions? Resentment arises when the primitive brain takes over. So what can you do to get rid of this?
Last updated: March 19, 2021 </ p>
Some people have created the art of feeling offended at everything. Who hasn’t reacted disproportionately to something that wasn’t important, at least ever? Why is this happening? What makes you chase an “enemy” who said or did something you don’t like?
For some reason, people’s judgments disappear during certain circumstances and the most primitive and emotional part of the brain takes over. If you think about it logically, you realize that you have exaggerated your interpretation of the situation. So why sometimes you can’t control yourself?
The habit of feeling insulted can cause a lot of pain. It makes you think that others want to hurt, humiliate, or underestimate you. Thus, you are on constant alert. Plus, this extreme sensitivity affects your relationships with other people. This either makes them tense, destroys them, or simply brings suffering to all involved. So what can you do about it?
Under no circumstances should anyone be allowed to harm you or In fact, there are many situations in which there really is a hidden insult, violation or aggression. Thus, it is logical and even useful in some situations to take a defensive position and defend your integrity. However, there are many cases where the person did not intend to offend So you must learn not to overreact.
These variables may explain the underlying hypersensitivity to some extent:
- Childhood trauma ve. Everyone experiences situations that leave their mark in the first years of life. Liz Burbo describes five such injuries in her work. This is why memories and pain appear and intensify the situation when someone touches an unhealed wound. You are not really offended by what he did or said to you; they just brought old pain from your memory.
- Lack of self-esteem. People who are easily offended often have low self-esteem. Their inner sense of inferiority makes them try to hide it in every possible way. Thus, their defensive and fragile self-esteem cannot withstand an attack, even if it is fake. Otherwise, tenderness will appear.
- Tightness. Characteristics such as cognitive inflexibility or dichotomous thinking are offensive to some people. Those who believe that others should be and act in a certain way often judge everything they do or say. Therefore, they may be supported with a silly joke because they find it inappropriate to react with humor.
- Habit. Repetition of a behavior or way of thinking only increases the likelihood of it repeating. Repetition strengthens neural connections, and some responses become automatic. Thus, some people may have a habit of feeling resentful and find it difficult to find other cognitive ways to interpret information.
How to stop feeling hurt
The most important thing you need to understand is that no one can hurt you if you will not give him permission to do so. You have no control over how others say or behave. Thus, you only have control over how you react. So don’t jump on anyone without thinking, and be mostly careful about what you actually perceive as an insult.
Of course, some attacks are understandably intentional and even harmful. Then stand up for yourself and respect your rights. Terminate the relationship if you need to, but not before analyzing the correctness of your interpretation. Do your best to see what it looks like through a lens other than your own wounds and flaws.
So break the habit of feeling offended. Get in the habit of looking for and using other cognitive pathways. Don’t make assumptions or ask questions instead. Often times, your sensitivity makes you expect the worst and see negative intentions where there are none.
Be more flexible in how you interpret what others say or do while interacting with you to avoid conflicts. It will improve your human relationships as well as your mental health. Test! Peace of mind is often more beneficial than proving that you are right.
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