Tinderella is the result of the merger of two names: Tinder and Cinderella (the English name for Cinderella). Psychology has decided to apply the name Tinderella Syndrome to the type of people who love to flirt with the many apps available on the market but never decide to go on a real date. Finally, they practice “ghosting”: they break off contact without any explanation.
Living in the days of 21st-century internet fanatics offers many new techniques and dynamics worth considering. This has not gone unnoticed by psychologists, sociologists or anthropologists. Therefore, we need new labels and names to correctly describe these new behaviors that were not present in previous generations.
Tinderella syndrome comes from the association between Tinder and Cinderella and represents people who prefer flirting through WhatsApp and other applications, but without any – or commitments to actually go on a date with the other party.
To meet someone
This is neither good nor bad, just different. Today we have much more opportunities to meet people and be even more selective in finding a partner. We select profiles, search, compare and try to make informed decisions about the people we see. We are waiting for the long-awaited “perfect landing”. Hope I can start chatting with the special person who caught our attention.
For many, these are little more than fun activities. These flirts give us the ability to distinguish between love and sex and choose the latter only if we want to. At the same time, we continue our efforts to build strong relationships, which in some cases we succeed. In fact, many of us are familiar with beautiful relationship stories that started out this way.
But in recent years, psychologists such as Jenny Stallard and Emma Kenny have observed a different type of dynamic that they want to draw our attention to very vividly title: Tinderella. This includes people who never agree to go out on a date; these are users who just enjoy flirting a little and not risking chatting through these virtual channels.
Tinderella Syndrome, the pleasure of flirting with someone I’ll never know
This seems like a big contradiction, but surprisingly it is much more common than we thought. Why sign up for an app where you can flirt and find a partner if you really don’t intend to get to know that person in person? The reason is that this initial phase is full of news enjoyment. Some discoveries, comparisons of interests, and midnight conversations are more than enough. They think this is completely satisfactory.
There is another interesting aspect of Tinderella syndrome. Tinderell men tend to flirt with several people at the same time. They are constantly looking for new alternatives. New partners who will replace their current partners when they decide to disappear without any explanation.
Here are some more characteristics that define this behavior:
- The process of finding and selecting potential partners through flirting through apps is more stimulating than acquaintance with people in real life. People with Tinderella syndrome often lack social skills.
- They tend to come across as interesting people on the Internet. They raise high expectations from potential partners who hope for a meeting in real life, which, obviously, will never happen.
- In general, Tinderella people quickly lose interest in other people. They end up “phantom” from one day to the next with no explanation. All they leave behind is a trail of false promises.
Love in the Tinder era
These are phantoms and fruitless a relationship that arises after a short conversation together. They shared secrets, plans and dreams with another person they never knew physically. However, the expectations of this relationship were so high that the grief became intense after the other side disappeared.
This is all happening right now, and it’s an obvious reality. In fact, the problem is not at all in a person who has become a victim of a “ghost”. Tinderella syndrome hides people with an indecisive and insecure character. They are more likely to have a social phobia or have an immature understanding of what human relationships really are.
The idea of having only 5 to 20 potential courtiers on Tinder is very attractive. As with the dozens of WhatsApp conversations we dive into, we flirt, try to seduce and give others false hopes. They flatter our ego and there is no obligation. The seduction game is a constant game without commitment.
Those with Tinderella syndrome choose to continue living with these childish and bizarre illusions of love. They leave countless victims on their way. This is just another modern reality that we must consider in our complex and ever-changing society.